Funny Things to Say to Friends to Make Them Laugh
1 / 75
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
2 / 75
I invented a new word:
Plagiarism!
These funny good morning GIFs will start your day with a smile.
3 / 75
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Don't miss our roundup of the best Reader's Digest jokes of all time.
4 / 75
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?"
Because every play has a cast.
5 / 75
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."
6 / 75
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
Don't miss theseclever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
7 / 75
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
These funny Monday jokes will help you make it through the week.
8 / 75
Knock! Knock!
Q: Who's there?
A: Control Freak.
Q: Con…
A: Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?"
Here are more knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny!
9 / 75
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu: You get what you deserve.
Need to lighten the atmosphere at the office? Crack one of these work-friendly jokes.
10 / 75
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Those are just contractions."
11 / 75
A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey… and a cola."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure. I was born with them."
Check out this side-splitting collection of thefunniest one-liners on the Internet.
12 / 75
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
13 / 75
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
14 / 75
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
If that made you smile, you won't want to miss these funnyphysics jokes.
15 / 75
Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.
Ever wondered how "why did the chicken cross the road" became a thing? Find out thefascinating origins of classic jokes.
16 / 75
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
18 / 75
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
20 / 75
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because theyarrgh!
Impress a history buff with thesehilarious history jokes.
21 / 75
Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
These are thefunniest lawyer jokes of all time.
22 / 75
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
23 / 75
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don't follow you…"
Thesehilarious tweets are guaranteed to make you grin!
24 / 75
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
25 / 75
Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
These smartlight bulb jokes are truly illuminating.
26 / 75
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
27 / 75
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
Keep thesefunny holiday jokes in mind for your next party.
28 / 75
What's the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Thesefunny animal pictures are sure to crack you up!
29 / 75
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It's two gross.
30 / 75
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
"Curses! Foil again!"
Here are 50 of the best knock knock jokes for kids.
31 / 75
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I'll never part with it!
33 / 75
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
34 / 75
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Don't miss these wild (but true!) tales of theworld's dumbest criminals.
35 / 75
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Will you be toasting a bride and groom in the near future? These funny wedding jokes could come in handy.
36 / 75
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
37 / 75
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.
Found that funny? You'll love these corny Halloween jokes.
38 / 75
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I'll go on a head.
Check out our countdown of the 100 funniest quotes of all time.
39 / 75
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador.
Thesehilarious dog puns will give youpaws.
40 / 75
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
42 / 75
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "P" is silent.
Grab your mouse ears and have a chuckle at these Disney jokes.
43 / 75
I waited all night to see where the sun would rise…
…And then it dawned on me.
Don't miss this side-splitting roundup of the funniest song titles of all time.
45 / 75
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Check out our all-timefunniest work jokes.
46 / 75
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
Thesehilarious school stories are guaranteed to give you a laugh.
47 / 75
What is an astronaut's favourite part on a computer?
The space bar.
Everyone can relate to thesefunny tweets about technology.
48 / 75
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
49 / 75
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.
50 / 75
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
These groan-worthybreads puns will come in handy the next time you feel likeloafing around.
51 / 75
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house.
Calling all word nerds! You'll love these clever thesaurus jokes.
52 / 75
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
These ridiculous beach puns areshoreto make you laugh.
53 / 75
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
These funny sleep jokes will have you laughing in bed.
55 / 75
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven't we metaphor?
Check out more cheesy pick up lines that are good for a laugh (if not love!).
57 / 75
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
These funny tweets about food are sure to put a smile on your face.
58 / 75
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Don't miss this gallery of funny farm animals!
59 / 75
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
These hilariousgolf jokes are better than a hole in one.
60 / 75
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can't jump.
Don't miss these funny photos of dogs working from home.
62 / 75
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
These bad dad jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud.
63 / 75
What did the cop say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Find out more clean jokes you can tell at any occasion.
64 / 75
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Having trouble crafting the perfect message for a birthday card? Try thesefunny birthday jokes!
66 / 75
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalafications.
Want to turn someone's frown upside down? Try giving them one of thesefunny compliments!
67 / 75
Rest in peace to boiling water.
You will be mist.
If you liked that joke, you'll get a kick out of thesehilarious thesaurus mistakes.
69 / 75
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
Don't miss thesefunny doctor jokes.
71 / 75
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
It doesn't have to be Pi Day (March 14) to bring out thesefunny math jokes!
72 / 75
Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left.
These hilariousDIY jokes will bring down the house!
73 / 75
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
You won't believe thesefunny classified ads actually ran!
74 / 75
Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counsellor?
It needed help figuring out its problems.
Thesefunny work cartoons were made for sharing at the office.
75 / 75
Why can't male ants sink?
They're buoy-ant.
After you've memorized these funny jokes to make anyone laugh, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time!
Originally Published: July 08, 2021
harrillsobsed1976.blogspot.com
Source: https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/10-short-jokes-anyone-can-remember/
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